Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
did you just send me my own nude
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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