im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
