Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
