You're my little dorito
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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