I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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