I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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