Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
