lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
