She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
