You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
