I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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