I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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