I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
two words: eviction party
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
