oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
