Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
