He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
