I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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