Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
