I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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