Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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