I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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