At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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