Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
