HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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