I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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