i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do vagina's smell?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Terrible idea I love it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
