the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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