You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
