Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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