It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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