tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
