I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
