I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
