PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
