if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
