do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
