I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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