I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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