i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
