Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
