Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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