atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
