it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize