We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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