i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
