I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
