Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
