i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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