After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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