bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
