I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it was like eating out sand paper
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
