At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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