He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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