Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The ass gains better be worth it
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