paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
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I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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