He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I want to fling myself into the sun
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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