i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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