well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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