There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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