It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
