he shaved USA in his pubs
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
