I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky ð
when your dumb AF ex âaccidentallyâ venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... âsorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
