Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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