I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
