Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
