I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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