help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
even my farts smell like vagina
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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