Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
