VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
